A poem from a Body & Soul member

Posted on: 7th September 2017

Body & Soul

by Lindsay

There’s a place where
my heart beats slightly
slower
a place of bean bags
and wooden floors
colouring pens filling in the
gaps in sentences
that could never be filled with words
or thoughts or any god damn fabrication
with punch bags that drown
in the array of frustration
and boxes of scrabble fighting
above it all to find
some peace in the madness
of this head
a building
that hosts the warmer
kinder parts of myself
the bits of me that
cower in the darkness
of the never ending long
halls the shrunken down
size of places that have
become my home
it brings words from my lips
with the soft hand of care
the caress of someone else’s
life spent
at least partly
on the holding together
of the last fragments spreading
of my broken soul
smashed between bookcase
and arm chair
caught between restraint
and medication
pulled apart on some
old fashioned stocks
for us to laugh at
but then there’s a new place
where the first question
isn’t what’s wrong
but what’s right
with you
what lights you up from the inside
keeps you burning through
the darkest of nights
a place where people
don’t say no
because they’re scared
of me
who in fact don’t say no
at all
who say only yes
with wide open arms
and a nod at my past
but no fear in my future
a place of scrabble
and punch bags
of meandering conversations
caught between moments
spent just being
lying in some place where they
believe in me
where the illness goes
away
stops being what I am
and is replaced
by a feeling of wholeness
of realness
of kept togetherness
of your words
holding me in their
never ending optimism
putting fire
back into
the centre
of my soul.

_______________

Lindsay is a member of Body & Soul’s You Are Not Alone programme, which supports young adults who have attempted suicide.



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